Dancin' Queen, Susan @ her wedding in Saratoga, May 8, 2005. 

The Estrogen Brigade @ Element Bar, SF - Di's B-Day Party, 4/21/05 

Salinlahi / A Different Dreamer by Oscar Peñaranda

A Different Dreamer by Oscar Peñaranda
Current mood: hopeful

A Different Dreamer by Oscar Peñaranda

Salinlahi / A Different Dreamer

Forgive me

if my dreams were not
made of Hollywood
technicolor soda-pop snow
and golden gate banks and
push button automatic
self-styling hairsprays

Twenty dollars an hour
and where it's even hard
to get a job as a maid they pay
so high and they say
the servants here are richer than the masters there
forgive me

If my dream was just
to someday climb
afrenzied on their highest hill
and sound the conch shells
of my conscience
blast my guts out blowing
somewhere on this earth
there is a noble and tragic
race whose songs
beg for the singing

And believe me there
were times when I too tried
to still the voices till
the volcanos erupted even

in my sleep I could get
no more peace forgive
me if
my dreams
were not to suck
what is theirs
but to pour what is ours

Currently listening: Stranger in My House [CD] By Tamia Release date: By 27 March, 2001

broken arm, surgery, restin', recuperatin' & thanks

broken arm, surgery, restin', recuperatin' & thanks
Current mood: sick

hi amigos,

don't want to scare you all but since i haven't contacted everyone & i'm feelin' almost human again...tryin to just take it easy...two weeks ago, i slipped on the sidewalk, in the rain & suffered a nasty elbow & arm break ...i had to go to the ER, do major surgery with pin, plates, metal...all pretty dramatic...no joke..

.i'm off of work for at least month & ... just let anyone else know if they ask that i didn't fall off da' face of da earth...thx...

damn! its hard just typing with one hand...for those of you who have already contacted me, thx for your kind words & get well wishes...it helps!

Take Care

Trabajo & Cinema Paradiso

Trabajo & Cinema Paradiso
Current mood: tired

More working, working, working...lots of work over W.E.D - World Environment Day this week...it was crazy/mad busy but I like the msg. of getting people to respect the environment more this week. Recycle, reuse, rethink about how to use energy. I saw an ad out that I did some graphics on with my co-worker ...full page, too. I was pretty proud of that.

Then I worked at the Randall Museum yesterday, lots of running around with the kindergartners & grade school children...it was "Sun & Wind Day" yesterday & there was sure plenty of "sun" & "wind" around, the weather was gorgeous & up there ontop of the hills that beatiful morning & afternoon, the wind was picking up enough where it was turning a new fangled windmill next to me & it was generating some energy inside the building - pretty cool, huh?...it was a nice event again for the lil' ones & their parents, there was an earthquake exhibit, an exhibit of birds that are specific & indigeneous to the neighborhood area of Diamond Heights/ Castro Valley...I was lookin' at the birds & I saw a hawk looking down on me ;) It took me aback at first but then b/c he was so tame, I calmed down. Pretty cool...anyway, during the day, I was helping the children make sun visors helping them color; I liked the fact that the girls seemed to color coordinate their visors with their outfits, cracked me up when they would...it was such a "chill" day, with a calypso band, the kids doing their various arts & crafts...the just the general good vibe running around made my "corazon" content...

Speaking of making one's corazon content ...I got to see my 1st outdoor movie in San Francisco last night...it was pretty amazing. I was really beside myself. It was at Washington Square in North Beach...we ate at a really, good reasonably priced restaurant nearby called Panta Rei...if you ever go, try the mussels in their homemade tomato sauce...pretty superb. We had a nice pinot grigio with it too, the lightness of it set off the seafood nicely. I also had some crab/ shrimp cannelloni & the 3 different cheeses on it were burnt just right...love that baked cheese over noodle thing going on...

Anyway, on to the specifics, "Cinema Paradiso" was sooooo goood, I mean after all these years, it's still sooooooo good... it's one of my favorite movies of all time & it was so special to catch it again. Outdoors made it extra, extra special; my 5 gal friends were with me & then my good friend that just got married in Saratoga came with one of her husband's best men/ best friends, then their other guy friend - so it was a fun group...anyway, I had forgotten about the many funny, heartwarming (yes, I mean it when I say that it IS "heartwarming" & I'm being sincere about that) scenes in the movie...the child star in that movie, is just adorable, he breaks my heart every time I see it...he is like what 7 years old there but acts like he's 37? Baha! Anyway, just pretty superb movie making...also, Marco Leonardi is in that movie & that makes any movie good! Do you remember him in "Like Water for Chocolate"? Well, he's in this one & it was probably what made him pretty famous & a star globally; the kissing scene he has in the rain with his "crush", Elena, just pretty much moves me everytime; like for that millisecond your heart does kinda' skip 'dat proverbially beat ;)...his recent movie was in "Once Upon a Time in Mexico", he played one of the henchmen that ran around with Enrique Iglesias & Antonio Banderas...anyway, I forgot about all the close-up shots of his great face...just sugar, sugar, honey, honey, candy boy face...that's all I can say...baha ;)

Also, I worked again today for W.E.D. at Fort Mason at the booth...it was an interesting crowd...I was commenting to my colleagues that there were a lot of people that reminded me of my mom's & lola's neighbors in Berkeley & Albany where they live...just very, caftan wearing, organic food lovin', & birkenstock/ teva sandals wearin' crowd...ha! But, a good crowd, I answered most of their questions well...there was an art exhibit there & one big one was sort of a makeshift planeterium where you would lie on the ground & look up at scenes of the rain forest while it was day, noon & night...it would show it raining, or monkeys walking across branches or then it would then change to a serene, beautiful desert scene...I felt like it calmed me down; made me feel a bit more relaxed which was a good "thang'"...

Anyway, it was a gorgeous weekend, the weather just cooperated beautifully...I am praying, praying, praying for just an uneventful weekend again at work & that it doesn't get too manic/ hectic ...at least some rest for this weary one sitting here typin' away at the laptop...

Lluego, lluego, lluego...

Currently listening: Chariot By Gavin DeGraw Release date: By 22 July, 2003

Carnaval Duty & A Strange Exchange of Words...

Carnaval Duty & A Strange Exchange of Words...
Current mood: satisfied

Mmmmmmm...I had one busy day in the middle of my three day weekend & it felt like it sucked up most of my energy. It was Carnval on Sunday afternoon, I had to face the music, errr...crowds & it was a bit after the parade winded down. Wow! When I went to relieve the morning shift crew; my good amigas I. Lo & C. Jo, there were like 40 people in line to spin a wheel to get some freebies from my work & all waiting patiently...it was off totally off "da' chain" as I. Lo would say...ha! Anyway, if anything it was a nice day to see the people of the "Raza" out & about, it's always good seeing the families together & can I just say the weather was glorious...you couldn't pick better weather. I really did have fun...we were situated at 18th & Harrison but what was funny was that the margarita & cerveza booths were right across from us...so, you can people watch all the corraled teetotalers "imbibing" themselves with all the libations available...what was also funny were the cops watching them, at one point some of the "po-po" decided to rest their tired feet at our booth while trying to keep an eye out on the "caged" drinkers who looked they were at the zoo...ha!

Anyway, it was all "goodness"...it looked like everyone was having a good time but man by the time we packed up near 6:00 p.m. there was still a sizable crowd & the sun shining as evah'...it was cool b/c I bumped into a few old friends, some hula sistahs', some old middle school friends even & then even some family...I tell ya', the power of e-mail works sometimes, you don't know who will come out ;) It was almost like a family/ school/ hobbies reunion all in one...baha!

Ummmm...the one incident I had though, was that I was munching on some catfish & chips for lunch (can I say my peeps were manning the booth, hard workin' as evah') & this guy who was sweeping up the trash on the streets, was pausing for a moment, just lookin' at the trash heap/ pile high mess that was accumulating from the overcrowding / the partying on a late Sunday afternoon...I looked at him, smiled...he acknowledged my smile & said, "I tell ya' honey, I made more money dealin' drugs but now I'm out here doin' this, sweepin' that, pickin' up after y'all & MAN! I wouldn't trade me freedom for anything in the world but right now, can I confess to you, dearheart, I'm feelin' mighty humble right now...I mean, man! It's hard for me right now..." I looked at him smiled, took a swig of my soda, then looked him dead straight in da' eye & said, "You know, that's all you have to be thankful for that you moved beyond what you thought was "flyin'" for you before & remember yourself this way b/c the only way from here is up... we are all humbled every day in some way, here's one way you are humbled...also, you're very lucky that you're not in jail still or not to scare you, just not here at all, in a coffin, 6 feet under, maybe? Remember that, hold on to that." I smiled again at him, more reassuring & said, "God Bless you, b/c you are blessed." He smiled at me, gave me sincere one, too...not that fake PR stuff that I can spot b/c well, I'm in that game, so to speak...then he said, "Thanks, sweetheart, that's all the push I needed...", then he went about his work...

I don't know, I felt good about that, like I nudged him towards forging through it, remembering the big picture even when it's hard; the work is hard but it's for a bigger thing that's beyond him, well, it is about him, to help him more but again, what's beyond him is that if he's from that neighborhood if my small suggestion helped him not to become down on himself in any way or even worse, not turn to drugs or deal again, then, I felt good about that ...hmmmm, I not sayin' I'm some holier-than-thou martyr but that felt good to have a "meaningful" exchange like that during my day when I felt like I was just doling out the daily work I do everyday, not that my work isn't meaningless but that touched me in some way ...sitting there on Harrison St. while I took my little break. Exchanges like that sometimes don't come often & sometimes, I feel like I tend to draw certain people in/ a certain aura that comes without me knowing it...I can't even explain it; if you knew my close friends, they will tell you. Like people will tell me very, close personal things straight up sometimes or they'll say they feel like they've seen me before or knew me somewhere else or went to school with them...it's very strange...maybe, I looked like someone they knew...I FEEL/ LOOK/ SOUND familiar to most people sometimes...it always surprises me & I hope I never feel NOT surprised by it b/c I think to me it can be only good, like, an unexpected gift...but again, that familiarity some people feel gets them to open up in unique ways, just how that stranger did...

Currently listening: Bag Lady By Erykah Badu Release date: By 28 August, 2000